Signs?

My Dearest Frank, 


was that you in the car when I was holding my hand out for you to hold?
Was that you when I felt all tingly & warm in bed those first few nights home? 
Was that you who threw or dropped 2 shampoo bottles out of the shower & onto the floor when I turned around from looking in the mirror?
Was that you in the stairwell when we all smelled cologne? JOOP? 
Was that you in CVS when my hand suddenly smelled like pencil shavings? Ashley smelled it, too... 
Was it you that stopped the rain so we could get to the car dry when leaving CVS? I said "Frank! Please make this rain stop, especially when I'm out running errands!" and it stopped, but only over us... 
Was it you or your Angel statue that kept Robyn safe when she got in an accident on 494?
Was it you in your Angel urn in the passenger seat of the Camaro that kept me safe when I lost control and was SURE it was going to roll? 
Was it you who placed & spilled a ROTTEN putrefied Venti Caramel Latte in the van? I had cleaned it out 2 days before, and I swear it wasn't there before... 
Is it you thumping & bumping around upstairs & in the bedroom late at night & scaring the bejeezus out of me? Or are those just the old sounds of the house?
Did you whisper my name loudly in the middle of the night last night? Or was that a strange sound or sigh from one of our sleeping children, that happened to sound like my name?
Was it you who called my name in your silly joking voice TWICE in the hospital, once when Ashley & I were waiting to come in & see you outside of your room, and that same day, when Ashley & I and Feeni had left your room & were heading down the hall? I wasn't the only one to hear it... the nurses said they didn't hear anything, though... 


If these are all signs, then I will consider myself blessed & lucky. If they aren't, then I am losing my marbles or my senses are hyper sensitive since you've been gone. I'd like MORE signs that you are here. I'd love you to hold me at night, touch my face the way you always did, tell me you love me or how beautiful I am like you used to... tell me it's going to be okay or that you are still with me.

All My Love,
~Lisa