In the last year & a half, we had actually begun to plan our wedding. We knew we wanted a winter wedding. We had decided that the first or second week in November would be perfect, as I would have family in the area for hunting season and it was convenient. It wouldn't be too hot, so I could wear something with sleeves. I actually had TWO dresses picked out, but hadn't decided 100% yet. Frank wanted our wedding to be ON the beach at the Longbranch in Winton, MN, regardless of the weather. It would be a short, but sweet ceremony. I had even chosen a hat/veil thing (it had a retro look) and it was in my mother's hands for safekeeping. We also had a punch bowl. I had begun designing invites, and still have them tucked away in my computer somewhere.
We kept putting the date off or pushing it back another year at a time. It wasn't because of cold feet or falling out of love for each other. I wanted to lose weight so I could look good, and we worried about finances. You see, I've had Medical Assistance for 15+ years. More & more of my meds were not being covered by my insurance & a lot had become OTC drugs. These are meds I've always taken and literally NEED to survive. I have severe asthma & allergies, along with some other more minor issues. Anyways, if Frank and I had married, I would have lost the MA and been put on his health insurance through work. His premiums were HIGH for a family plan, and there's no way we could have afforded it. If I went without insurance, then the meds & doctors appointments would have to come out of pocket, and we couldn't afford that either. One inhaler alone (preventative) retails for $375 for a month supply. So, the insurance was a HUGE factor in us putting the wedding date off. It was hard, too with everyone constantly asking "So, when's the big date?" *sigh*
Another reason we were content with the way things were & not rushing things, is that we were perfectly fine & happy with the way things were. We got along great, and we both viewed marriage as a piece of paper. We were married at heart anyways, and that's what mattered the most to us. We had been discussing nixing the wedding thing all together, and just having a commitment ceremony instead. We would do better with our taxes if we were married, but that was peanuts compared to the insurance issues. Looking back now, I guess it would have been better for me right now had we gotten hitched, but who can foresee something like this happening? Minnesota hasn't recognized "common law" marriages since 1941 (or so I've read), although I know people who were married by common law & even got a new Social Security card with a recognized name change without asking for it and without being legally married. Anyways, the point is moot... without common law or a real marriage, I am entitled to NOTHING, unless I was specifically named as a beneficiary in any paperwork... but that is a long story for another day.
We had plans to retire on the Iron Range. I have a house in Eveleth, MN, but Frank wanted to find a piece of land, on or near a lake, in the woods where we could live a quiet life. He knew his time being a mechanic was limited with the toll it takes on the body, so this was our 10 year plan, and then our 5 year plan, and most recently, our 3 year plan. He wanted to wait until his daughter Lexi was 18 and/or out of school. I tried to talk him into doing it now, as I just don't like being in the cities and hated seeing him work so hard ALL the time. :( I wish now that I had pushed harder. He was ALWAYS looking at real estate up north online, and had a catalog of properties up north (cabins, lakefront, etc) that he was always showing me certain listings and asking me "What do you think of this one?" :) Pipe dreams... gotta love him. I just wish that we had done SOMETHING and that he hadn't had so much stress in his life. :(
He and I wanted to live in the woods and become one with nature & lead a simpler life. We wanted to be married. Frank was going to ask Teddy to be his best man. He wanted to restore his 63 1/2 Ford Galaxie 500 Fastback. He had lots of projects, including a motorcycle, a snowmobile, a boat & a camper. Not to mention NUMEROUS car projects that he just never had the time to get around to.
We talked about what we would be like when we were old. He wanted to be a dirty old man & find a girlfriend in the nursing home with Parkinson's and he would have her "just hold 'it'". XD I was going to be a mean old lady who just doesn't care & says whatever she thinks, including swearing like a sailor. Little did we know, we would never grow old together. </3
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