Weird!

Dear Frank,

     All these weeks have passed since you left us, and I've pretty much had dreamless nights of sleep ever since. I think it was that my mind was shut off & numb to the tragedy of my new reality. In the past week I've dreamed of you TWICE. One was weird, but I woke up crying. The latter was weird, but hilarious and I woke up LITERALLY laughing my ass off, tears & all. Yesterday, I wasn't feeling so good and was laying on the couch trying to nap. I must have started dozing or daydreaming (not sure which), but I had this vision and sensation of being cuddled up behind you, and touching your back... I always marveled at how soft your skin was, when your hands were the complete opposite (due to years of being a mechanic). All of the sudden, the thought came to my mind that it wasn't real, that I would never touch you again, and my heart just stopped and HURT like hell for a few moments. I opened my eyes to find the back of the couch staring back at me instead of your back. :'( 
     Sometimes, I feel like you could walk in the door any moment... like I'm subconsciously hoping this is still just a really long BAD dream. Sometimes, I see your face in a photo, and imagine kissing you goodnight. I touch my lips, and then I realize (again) and the sadness sets in. 
     I find myself wanting to buy you gifts and make things for you. Last night I was looking at matching wedding bands on eBay. Nothing fancy, just something that would last forever... something I could have engraved. I have no clue what I'd do with all these things, but I feel connected to you forever... times infinity... for all eternity. I'd like a wedding band to wear with my engagement ring (which I will NEVER take off), to signify that my heart belongs to you, and always will.
     I wish I knew if you were here or not. I'm still waiting for my "sign". Sometimes I think I feel you, but then it is gone as soon as I feel it. Just once, I'd love to talk to you or feel you cuddled up to me at night... or to feel you kiss me at night. You know I've always been a skeptic about otherworldly matters, but right now I want to believe more than anything! If I were rich, I'd hire a medium or call in the ghost hunters, but alas, I am not. :( Please, help me believe and if you are here, show me somehow! I love you!!!

Forever Yours,
~Lisa